Breaking: U-District Still Full of Crazy People

Two people were assaulted in the University District earlier this month in what appears to be a chopstick-related conflict.

According to the report, a man and a woman were walking north on 45th and University at about 6:45pm on March 7th, when then passed a man who was sitting on the sidewalk in front of the Mongolian Grill, eating out of a takeout container.

As the man and woman passed the man sitting on the street, he asked them “hey, do you guys know how to use chop sticks?” The man and woman ignored the question and continued walking, the report says. The report does not indicate whether the man was looking for assistance and instruction, or was simply conducting a survey.

Moments later, the man and the woman turned around and headed back down the Ave, and again passed the man sitting on the street.

The report says one of the victims stepped on a metal grate on the sidewalk, which apparently startled the man who’d been sitting on the street, who then leapt to his feet and punched the woman in her face.

The male victim attempted to intervene but, the report says, “for his efforts he was struck on the right side of his neck by the suspect.”

The suspect started to “square up,” apparently preparing to fight, and then told the victims “come on, I can kick your ass.”.

One of the victims called 911 and the suspect grabbed his food and fled northbound on the Ave.

Police searched the area but were unable to find the man.