Soccer Scarf Fight!!!!

Seattle Sounders (this is a soccer team, I’m told) fans have apparently turned to hooliganism in a desperate attempt to make their communist “sport” more interesting.

According to a police report, a Portland Timbers fan was assaulted by several Seattle Sounders, um, supporters following a soccer match at Qwest Field on March 11th.

The report says police received several calls about an assault at 3rd and Yesler at about 8:30pm “in which several people were attacking one man.”

A Portland Timbers fan told police “he was wearing his Timbers scarf, and got into what he thought was friendly rivalry banter with several Sounders fans.”

The man walked off but later noticed that three men, all wearing Sounders scarves over their faces, were following him. 

The report says the man “felt one of the men grab onto his scarf and pull it backwards.” He then “fell to the ground and was punched in the head several times by all three men.’

One of the men demanded the victim’s scarf and, the report says, “two of the men ended up pulling on both ends of the scarf, causing it to constrict around his neck.”

The Sounders hooligans dragged the man across the sidewalk until a witness intervened. The suspects ran off and the responding officers were unable to locate them as, according to the report, “there were many men in the area matching the vague descriptions of the suspects (as many Sounder fans were wearing matching scarves) so locating these actual suspects was difficult.”

The victim suffered several bumps and bruises but was not seriously injured, the report says.