The Morning Blotter: Tensions Between Larouchies, Sane People At An All Time High

One of Lynden Larouche‘s little zealots contacted police last week to complain that she’d been spat on by a man in Downtown Seattle.

According to a police report, around noon March 19th, a woman was standing near 4th and Madison, displaying photos of President Obama with a Hitler-stache (like the one pictured), emblazoned with the text “Send [Obama] to the Moon! (and his little mustache too!).”

The report says when the woman asked a man walking by on the street “if he was ready to impeach” Obama, the man——described in the report as a “black male, 30-40 years old, bald, wearing nice clothes and shoes”— turned and spit on the woman, hitting her in the face and neck. The woman later told police she “was unsure if any of the suspect’s saliva entered her mouth.”

The woman called 911 and followed the man for several blocks until he hopped on a #120 Metro bus and took off.

Medics “arrived to assist with decontamination and gave [the woman] tips for clean up,” the report says.

Police searched the area but were unable to locate the man.

Two things immediately come to mind:

1) Maybe if we ask Tim Burgess real nice-like, he’ll put the Larouchies on his list of things-that-are-verboten-in-downtown. Because someone needs to keep those pesky girl scouts company on the list.

2) I have it on good authority that asking Larouchies whether their cult leader is “a Scientologist or something” makes their heads explode. Scanners style.. Try it sometime.