The Morning Blotter: Naked Chicks and Scooters

Seattle police were called to a Capitol Hill apartment building earlier this week after a man came home to find a threesome screwing in his carport.

A police report says the man came home to his apartment building on 11th and Denny around 7:15pm, when he saw two half-naked women and a half-naked man in the carport next to his apartment.

The half-naked man was having sex with one of the women, while the other female was “naked and messing with the victim’s scooter.”

The victim confronted the three half-naked suspects, and the woman who was mid-coitus got angry, ripped down a cigarette ashtray attached to the apartment building, and threw it at the victim, striking him in the shoulder.

The woman then told the victim she was going to have her cousin shoot him. The report doesn’t clearly indicate where the woman’s cousin was during the altercation. But let your imagination run wild.

The half-naked woman on the scooter apologized to the victim for the other woman’s actions—the report indicates the two women are sisters—and all three suspects left after getting dressed.

Police weren’t able to find the suspects.

Update: Wanna see Seattle’s sexiest carport? Our pals over at Capitolhillseattle have a photo.