This story comes from the PI.com, not The Onion:
A former Rainier Beach drug counselor convicted of dealing prescription painkillers was sentenced Wednesday to two years in prison.
Arrested in December 2009, Rainier Beach drug and alcohol intervention specialist Robert Henry Smith and a second man faced a federal indictment on allegations that they sold oxycodone to a police informant.
Smith was convicted after a three-day trial on six counts related to a series of pain killer sales. He was not accused of dealing drugs to students, just other addicts and dealers.
According to court documents, Seattle police launched an investigation into Smith after a confidential informant came forward with the allegations. The informant — who avoided prosecution on other drug offenses by working with police — said Smith was dealing oxycodone, sometimes sold as OxyContin and Percocet.
At trial, one of Smith’s drug customers testified Smith sold $10,000 worth of oxycodone pills to another drug distributor during a single transaction. Other customers testified that they purchased oxycodone pills from Smith in amounts ranging from $50 to $65 per 80 milligram oxycodone tablet, and received a price reduction for buying in quantities of 50 or 100 tablets.