The only way I could stop Josh from making my official title at PubliCola “Crimenerd” was to agree to write about football. So, to preserve what little dignity I have left, so here we are.
For the next 16 weeks (and maybe some of the post-season), we’ll escape from the land of wonky politics and crime reporting into a magical world of poorly researched football analysis and bitching about my fantasy football team—especially when some goddamned d-lineman shatters Ookie’s pelvis and ruins
Philly’s my season. (My other QB was Peyton Manning. Fuck.)
Now, let’s say the thing that needs saying: this is probably going to be an ugly weekend for the Seahawks.
The Hawks are coming off a week one loss to the 49ers, who haven’t been good since, like, 1996.
The Steelers were absolutely trounced by the Ravens in week one so, naturally, they’re looking for a big win at home to show that they’re still AFC contendersblahblahblah.
Added bonus: west coast teams typically don’t play very well when they fly cross-country and get all jet-lagged. Fact. However, this guy’s reffing, so maybe he’ll give the Hawks a freebee touchdown.
Short version: Blitz, blitz, punt. Touchdown, kick, 3rd and 27, jump pass, k-thunk, agggggggh, broken femur. 38-10.
Anyhow, It’ll get better (a serviceable QB will help), but it’s gonna be awhile.
We’ve got a young offensive line and secondary which hasn’t gelled yet, two young, terrible quarterbacks (“but Charlie just needs a chance!” you say? Shut your face.), a dubious lineup of d-linemen and linebackers, and our fancy new wide receiver is still out with a strained whatever.
God I’m a bummer.
Feel free to argue with me in the comments.
Time: 10:00am Location: Heinz Field
TV: FOX | Radio: 710 AM ESPN / 97.3 FM KIRO