Occupy The Seahawks

There has been much complaining over the last week about my dereliction of Seahawks duty.

Let me say this: maybe if the Hawks took a page from the Bengals’ book and got arrested more often or, y’know, Occupied Westlake, I’d have occasion to write about them more often. So there.

Now, burn on all of us, because the Hawks are on a bye this week so I have no game to preview.

We can, however, discuss how the Hawks now have the second-lamest quarterback controversy in the NFL. Huzzah.

Tarvaris Jackson has a strained pectoral—no word on whether it’s his throwing pec—and that longhair we traded the farm for is going to run the offense now. Unless he doesn’t. 

Also:  HOLY SHIT WE BEAT THE GIANTS!!!!

It was a mess of a game last Sunday—lots of pratfalls on both sides of the ball—but it was exciting. Brandon Browner is the new Big Play Babs. For all of his faults (and by that, I mean approximately 17 penalties a game) he came up with a pick-six, so all is forgiven.

Next week, the Hawks play Mike Holmgren’s Browns. The obvious “ex-coach playing his old team” narrative does not apply as almost every player who played under Holmgren is retired, unemployed, or in Detroit.  But, hey, the game starts at 10 am, which means you can just start drinking and create your own story line.

In my fantasy news, I put too much faith in ESPN’s scheduling robots, and now three teams in my 10-man league (shuddup. It was assembled at the last minute)  have an extra bye for some goddamned reason, and I’m probably going to have to do a lot of math this weekend to fix it. Guh. But, hey, I’m 4-1!