“DIVISIONAL RIVALS BATTLE FOR THE MIDDLE OF THE NFC WEST GARBAGE HEAP!”

Someone at ESPN must’ve been drinking during the Monday night game scheduling earlier this year, because rumor has it the Seahawks and Rams get to be on national TV tonight.

Here’s how ESPN’s been promoting tonight’s game in my head: TONIGHT ON MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL, DIVISIONAL RIVALS BATTLE FOR THE MIDDLE OF THE NFC WEST GARBAGE HEAP!

Why would ESPN want to show a meaningless matchup between the 5-7 Hawks and 2-10 Rams?  Because it’s a meaningless divisional matchup which, in truth, won’t matter much to either team—the Rams stay at the bottom of the NFC West no matter what, and a Hawks win means they climb to a still-not-very-exciting 6-7 record.

In fairness, the Hawks o-line is being held together with duct tape and toothpicks, but I still don’t think the Rams are going to make this a game. They sure didn’t last time.

Expect a blowout, crappy traffic downtown, and lots of Skittles commercials.